Beetles. Specifically desert ironclad, more specifically Blue Death Feigning beetles. They can’t fly at you or bite you, they are adorably derpy, and they can live for close to a decade in captivity. Also, they eat nearly anything you eat so they are really cheap to keep happy.

When they look at me with those big mirror eyes, I say “just take my house it’s yours now”

Sometimes a cutie is just a cutie, defying classification