Either your comment is missing a comma, or I have to inform that I don’t plan to.

Nah, I’m betting on plain old lead.

Nor can you throw a spaceship around on the Moon.

So maybe that cartoon isn’t about the Moon.

In many places around the world, it would be outright boiling. But I imagine internal organs would need a larger temperature.

Also, is their diet varied enough that they would accept politicians instead?

Have you tried throwing water on top of it?

One could imagine this would suffice, but no, it’s hydrophobic.

All of the rest of the physics seems to check out, though

What is the entire problem, because all of the rest of the physics don’t get you coherent answers around a black hole.