“The more sophisticated a magic system is, the funnier it is to pull out a gun”
Snape, probably
Sounds like something Pratchett would say
Father Weasley, can’t remember his name, repeatedly shows us that wizards raised purely in the magical world are unbelievably stupid when it comes to the non-magic world so it wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest if they didn’t even know what a gun was.
Wait a minute. We can go deeper. In the deathly hallows, when they tell the story about the invincible wand, the original owner loses it because someone straight up cut his throat — no magic. Harry also takes it from Malfoy by beating the shit out of him.
“I got 57 more goddamn rounds in this 4 rounds magazine”
In the American version of the books, they changed kids hexing each other in the corridors for shooting each other instead, to make it more believable.
Harry shotter and the chamber of bullets.
The one on the right saying ‘would’ absolutely makes it.
Its been done look up “Harry potter and the deathly weapons.”
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Film/HarryPotterAndTheDeathlyWeapons
https://archive.org/details/harry-potter-and-the-deathly-weapons-2020-1080p
Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you’re going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
Here’s why:
Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol’ American hot lead.
Basilisk? Let’s see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren’t looking at it–you’re looking at a picture of it.
Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12.
And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it’s because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal.
Now I know what you’re going to say: “But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!” Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger?
Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova.
Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don’t think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort’s wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry’s would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let’s see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound.
I can see it now.…Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can’t be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series:
“Well then I guess it’s a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1.”
And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal.
This had me in stitches
It’s my favorite copypasta. I can’t believe I was the first in this thread to post it.
Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound.
IF I WENT TO HOGWARTS I WOULD USE PHYSICAL VIOLENCE
NO MAGIC SPELLS ARE GONNA WORK ON ME
I’D BE SNAPPING SOME WANDS SUPLEXING THE GOBLINS
POLYJUICE POTION?
NAH IM DRINKING CREATINE.
WENGARDIUM LEVIOSA?
HOW BOUT YOU SHUT THE HELL UP.
AVADA KEDAVRA?
AVADA THESE NUTS.
What about testis tortius?
I’m a little bit surprised Rowling didn’t throw in something about some human technology not working in the wizarding world, like electronics and firearms. Surely this came up while the books were being written.
I hate JKR too, but she literally did. Wizard clothes are enchanted with protego charms which turn away any mundane attacks, and wizards really have no reason to fear muggles. During the witch trials some would allow themselves to be burned at the stake because they liked how the flames tickle. It’s very much a ‘magic must defeat magic’ setting.
No one thought to make magic bullets to counter protego charms?
Isn’t that just the killing curse with extra steps? Magic is a lot harder to evade.
She all but stated that humanity is advancing beyond the wizarding world. There’s really no explanation beyond “wizards are actually very stupid and stagnating within their intellectually, and very literally, incestuous society.”
but she did just what you described
I remember reading it
I don’t remember which book but I also have this clear memory of a quick passage saying all the magic around them was messing up with electronics.
Also I’m pretty sure in the Deathly Hallows they use the internet to follow Death Eaters sighting while they are in hiding
(Been a while… and I’m not bothered enough to go check 🤣)
This is just Harry Dresden novels
Also Arcanum a CRPG by troika, there’s a newspaper you can find where someone tried to put a fire enchantment on a musket took out a city block.
If you get to the point where a gun is required, you have already lost something.
Yeah, use land mines and claymores instead far more indirect and I don’t there’s magic that can reverse being turned into chunky salsa. Also never have just a gun have multiple preferably in multiple directions so the ones using the guns can’t be taken out in one fell swoop.
TBH I think the dark wizards are better with covert ops so letting them learn about explosive devices might be a bad move.
First they have to figure out what the fuck is killing them, depending on how it’s used an explosive doesn’t really explain what it was beyond being an explosive. A short fuse grenade duck taped to the inside a door doesn’t leave a lot after it’s gone off, sure you know Frank the evil wizard is at best screaming in agony and missing a limb after an explosion but beyond that? Also it’s kinda a trope that evil wizards are technophobic and only want to rely on their magic, the ones who don’t are often the dangerous ones though in a lot of media they are also hermits who want to commit crimes against nature in peace.
I remind you that Voldemort would have to die from it like 7 or 8 times.
It’s over Miss Granger. What do you say?
I cast ICBM
That’s why us Latinos aren’t represented in the series. Jose el Mago would have walked up to the guy and just shanked him a bunch of times and taken his shoes
Probably a good thing JKR didn’t include any Latin American wizards in the series. They probably would have ended up practicing a form of magic that was basically just Aztec blood sacrifice. No way it wouldn’t be racist as fuck. This is Rowling we’re talking about. Her goblins are thinly veiled Jewish stereotypes, she has happy house slaves, and the African wizards are literal witch doctors.
And they would be called Rodrigo Rodríguez
Rowling was always known to be slightly racist but people mostly dismissed it as a sort of fantastically stupid racism. As in, the “ha ha this racist stereotype is so dumb, see how ridiculous it looks when I put it in my wizard book” sort.
I don’t think it was until she started going full TERF that people began to realise that she’s not making fun of the stereotypes; she actually thinks casual racism is a funny and cute thing to do.
As if they didn’t have some simple hex that can protect them from physical projectiles.
They would have been killed a long time ago by arrows.
Guns are a lot faster then arrows. There wouldn’t be enough reaction time.
In the books it explains that wizard robes have charms against physical attacks woven into the threads. They’re wearing full body bulletproof vests.
Where in the books does it say that?
During the Dumbledore’s army arc, I think book 5. I don’t really care enough to go back and find the quote, but it was a fairly significant plot point in the resistance movement.
Expecto Ballbearium!
It wouldn’t even get through a wizard’s robes, they’re enchanted with protego charms (at least according to the books)
Gotta say the words quicker than they can pull the trigger and they have mutliple sylable words try saying one of these before you can click your mouse. Yeah I know super skilled ones don’t need to but you still have to react.
- Arresto Momentum
- Protego
- Protego Maxima
- Expelliarmus
- Accio
- Stupefy
Don’t have to say any words when it is a basic protection hex. It automatically activates.
Bummer jk Rowling never made sense out of dueling, or casting spells silently, or apparating sometimes is okay but mostly not. Even if she wasnt an asshole, trying to draw a logical line through the books is absurd.
Bummer jk Rowling never made sense
I think the world building in the Harry Potter series is awful. The rules don’t make internally consistent sense, and the society that came up around those rules also don’t make sense within the motivations of how people behave in that society.
